$4 doll Kmart mums are going crazy for
Remember all the dolls you used to play with as a kid?
The ones with perfect makeup, tiny waists, shoestring arms and buns you could bounce a coin off?
Remember how, after living with those dolls for years, you were stuck with all of these ingrained, incorrect assumptions about what a beautiful body should look like?
Oh yeah, and remember how you then spent the next few decades punishing your own body in case it decided to listen and shrink to the proportions of a plastic figurine?
Yeah, so do I.
Thankfully, the kids of 2019 don't have to worry about those problems because a new, affordable doll is on the market and parents can't get enough of them.
The Anko Glamour Doll is flying off the shelves of Kmart as mums across Australia praise the company for promoting positive body awareness.
It will set you back just $4, unlike the ridiculously overpriced Barbies and Bratz of yesteryear.
Additional clothes and shoes for your Anko Doll's wardrobe cost about $2 each.
The dimensions of the "body positive" dolls reflect a real, healthy body, something that has been lacking in doll culture for too long, members of the popular Kmart Mums Australia Facebook page claimed.
The mums were introduced to the wonders of the Anko Doll two months ago, when member Al Wilko posted to the group.
"Spotted these 'Glamour Dolls' today," Ms Wilko said.
"Same height as Barbie but twice the width, ie, a normal human size. How good!"
More than 3000 people have liked the post, with many parents vowing to pay a visit to the hugely popular department store to purchase one for their kids.
Some mums commented that they loved the dolls "simple, natural makeup look".
"Compared to Barbies, who have waist to hip and bust ratios that are completely abnormal and would not naturally possible on most humans, these dolls have more realistic figures," Caitlin Hancock wrote.
Aneeta Rani commented that the dolls "actually look like normal women, with thighs".
So why should you buy these alternatives to the original range of kids dolls?
Oh, let me count the ways …
While Mattel recently released a "curvy" version of their usual stick-thin offering, the doll barely resembles a size 10 in real life.
Not the smartest move, calling a size 10 girl "curvy", Mattel.
Regardless, the rest of the manufacturer's range, since its launch in 1959, largely portrays unrealistic images of what it means to be a woman.
Let's be honest: Barbie is a bimbo. She's mostly white and privileged, extremely thin, and forever on the hunt for a man.
Even when she's a rocket scientist or running for President, she's gotta tell the world about it and hopes her Ken is somewhere around the corner.
Other totally backward reincarnations of Barbie included Teen Talk Barbie who could say things like "Math class is tough!" as well as Slumber Party Barbie, who came equipped with scales and a book called How to Lose Weight. One of the rules of the book is "Don't Eat!"
A study, published in the Body Image journal, examined all brands of dolls sold across the US and found that 62 per cent of female dolls "had a noticeably thin body".
The report concluded that thin dolls were portrayed with "more sex object features" than larger dolls.
"These include revealing, tight clothing and high-heeled shoes, body positioned with a curved spine, bent knee and head cant," the report said.
The toy that resembles a sex doll was released in 2001, and weirdly, kids fell in love with it immediately.
So much so, that 15 movies, as well as TV and web shows, were made about the group of best friends, the Bratz Pack, and their adventures with shopping and boys.
But it was their completely exaggerated figures and provocative wardrobes that caused the most outrage.
Bratz creator Isaac Larian designed the dolls to be "sassy" and "bold".
The dolls have lips that look like they've maxed out their dad's credit card at the Botox factory, and their bulbous heads seem comical, shoved on top of their teeny tiny bodies.
The designers also indulged in some pretty serious racial stereotyping, with the black Bratz character often wearing bandannas and street wear.
The Asian Bratz doll Jade is often seen wearing her straight black hair in two buns and donning cropped tops and Chinese brocade skirts.
Bratz dolls have surprisingly made a comeback, with Isaac Larian releasing a new set of dolls in conjunction with fashion designer Hayden Williams late last year.
The sassy dolls come with smartphones, corsets, fishnet stockings and their strange, mutual boyfriend, Cameron.